Cow or No Cow

cows

I recently went back to being a vegetarian.

The Friggin’ Goose had a proverbial cow when I climbed on the wagon.  To have seen him have a real cow! Think of the considerable amount of money I would’ve cashed in on! I’d be in Fiji or some other tropical place right now. Umbrella drinks, tanned, hard-bodied men waiting on me hand-and-foot. Yay me for going green! Personally, I think he was afraid I was going to start shoving tofu hotdogs and parsnip chips on his plate . As if!

Oh! And being a vegetarian in my family means I’ve committed a mortal sin so there has been discussion of disowning. The idea that someone would willingly not partake of the flesh of Bessie or Babe or any other hairy critter doesn’t sit well. Brother’s have been known to wave sharp knives at each other, daring anyone to go for that last morsel of gristle lingering on a plate. I have cousins who try to outdo each other’s bacon jam. BBQ grills have their own shrines buildings. They take their meat seriously!

BK Bacon sundae anyone?

Dessert anyone?

This brings me to the holiday and Christmas dinner. My mother and I were on the phone and talking about everyone coming over to her house this year. She was telling me what she would be cooking and my meatlessness came up. She said ” Hon, I planned on cooking you chicken. Now, if I make a turkey we don’t have to worry.” All I could do was sigh.

I’m not going home for Christmas this year.

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