Dear Google Joe,

Joe anyone?

Joe anyone?

Dear Google,

I am less than pleased with the service I have been re- (5 minutes later). This is exactly what I mean! I can’t even get what, 10-11 words into an email and bam! the stupid thing locks up on me!

Okay, Okay, let’s try this again. (Civilized Leila, you paid good money for that anger management class…)

Dear Google,

I am less than please with the service I have been re- (5 minutes later). Jesus H. Doodlebug! You have got to be kidding me! Again? (muttering)

Dear Google,

I a- (5 minutes later). ARGHHH!!!!


Dear Google Joe,

Listen hear turdbasket. I’m friggin fed up! I’ve been with your lousy organization since it was a gleam in your daddy’s eye and you didn’t even have a chat client. Now I can’t get my email to work for 5 friggin seconds? WTF is up with that? I’m tired of getting the yellow blob of doom “STILL WORKING” at the top of my screen. Since I can work in other tabs without any issues, obviously my browser isn’t the problem. No, what I think it boils down to is your INADEQUACIES, inadequacies as an organization, as a division and as a man writing a simple piece of code for a program to work properly on the internet.

How does that feel Google Joe? To know that you are INADEQUATE. To know that you couldn’t get it done. To know that you’re just… eh.

I have things to do, places to go and people to annoy but since my email is not meeting my needs it all gets to be rather frustrating. But again, it all comes back to being inadequate doesn’t it? Well you know what, I’m not going to sit around stuck in a unfulfilling relationship with some half-assed email client. I’m not going to put up with emails showing up a day late or no replies from my chat client. I’m not going to look in my outbox to see 5 emails that haven’t gone out for some inexplicable reason and I’m not going to put up with “STILL WORKING” all the time. I’m not usually an ultimatum kind of gal (okay, that’s a lie) but I’m telling you now, I am looking for a new Joe. One who meets all my needs in a more than adequate way. So you might want to start working a bit harder and faster at making me happy. Oh, just to let you know, Yahoo’s been toying with me again… mm-hmm, he’s looking mighty fine these days. Wonder if he got himself a make-over or something? Fella named MSN too. I’ve heard some things about him. Good things. Real. Good. Things.

Just sayin…



11 thoughts on “Dear Google Joe,

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