“Stupid is as Stupid Does”

Puttanesca, Source: Wikimedia Commons

Puttanesca, Source: Wikimedia Commons

Yep, I feel like I’m living in a Forrest Gump re-make. I’m trying to figure out who left the gate open or if I just need to increase my dosage.

Drumroll Please…

“Are you ready for dinner, I’m making Puttanesca?”

“No, we’ll eat when we get there.”

(a couple of hours later)

“So, where do you want to eat then?”

“I’m good.”

“You said we would eat when we got here!”

“I ate while you were in the shower.”

“WTF?!”

(10 minutes later)

“I’m getting some coffee before we go in.”

“Ok.”

(a couple of minutes later)

“What the hell is that?”

“Taco Bell, I’m hungry”

“WTF?!”

(later that evening at home, the phone rings)

“Hi Mom”

“I’m just calling to see if I can go ahead and do that thing you asked me to do”

“What thing?”

“That thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know.”

“Obviously I don’t!”

“The thing you sent me the money for.”

(silence )

(silence

(silence)

“WTF!”

(silence)

(silence)

(silence)

“That was over a month ago!”

“I was waiting for you to call me and say it was ok”

(silence)

“We just talked last week!”

“Well, I know.”

(silence)

“Jesus Ch– WTF?!”

“I take it that means ‘yes’?”

“Fu#K!”

(First thing in the morning)

“Did you make coffee?”

“No.”

“Will you make some and make me some breakfast while you’re at it?”

“No.”

“What’s your problem?”

(silence)

(silence)

(silence)

(door slams)

Friggin’ idiots! You’ve heard the expression “swim or cut bait”? Chum the waters, I’m jumping in.

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